So there are times when I am what I theoretically say that I am not. Like what I would not want to say that I do but I actually do.
This relates to a 2 1/2 year old girl I recently met. I had my small bit of contention about the way she was behaving. In one word, she is stubborn. The other thing is that she apparently has a sweet tooth. So her pediatrician asked her parents to take her off sweets, because she was overdoing on sweetmeats.
Well, so if you do not give your child items that essentially qualify as desserts, one would have to certainly give items that taste non-sugary right?
So, this one day, I looked at all that she had...the one non-sweet thing she had was an egg, but otherwise the little one had let's see, Cashew biscuits, raisins, cake and a mixture of curd and rice. The last item could have been counted non-sweet, but mom dear mixed three teaspoonful of sugar in it!
Am I being wrong if I think that her parents are not really helping the 'eating habit'? I also think that the mom should know better than to give in.
We were in the market when the girl was eating raisins from a small box, and she dropped one on the floor. Her father immediately picked up the fallen raisin and threw it away. The girl started crying like the world was about to end! To make up for the lost raisin, her mother took out the packet of cake...
Is it that hard to train a child to different flavours? And how much sweet can be served to a kiddo?
Almost everyone I ask seems to crib about how cranky kids these days are about food...how they just want what they want and won't listen to anything else.
I suppose I am about to find out soon, but I do plan to introduce Kaiser to a different flavours, mostly because I want to, and also because I saw what happens when the kid just keeps on getting what they want - rational or not.
I and my bro were not raised to make faces at food. We had everything, and had no choice in saying about wanting to eat just one type of food, or exactly wanting that one item that was not present. And that I think has really helped us...I may or may not like a particular vegetable, but if it is on my plate, I will finish it.
And I kind of understand what the girl's mother says - the little girl just won't eat anything else, and rather than see your kid hungry and constantly whiny because of it, it is better to get their stomach full , and that they have 'atleast had something'.
The other thing is potty training or the lack of it. The girl still wears diapers 24x7. She does say that she is about to poo, and I asked her mom why she was not taken to a toilet seat to relieve herself. The mother told me that the little girl just freezes! She won't poo in the loo...only in the diaper.
One of my 3 year old nephews in the US is regularly shown a potty training DVD...I was laughing because I was wondering if it would really work. So far, the DVD is just entertainment and not much learning, and here I witnessed this girl who was just like that nephew, only minus the DVD.
So what is it that irked me about me? I ws being so judgemental! I have very minimal first-hand knowledge of raising kids...I know how to sterilize bottles, and change diapers, and bathe a kid, but I have never had it as a full-time job.
I looked at the girl's parents and kind of decided on the inside about what kind of parenting the kid was getting, but still, it was wrong on my part. It is easy for me to theorise what should be, but let's see what I do when it falls on me actually.
Since its still a question of the future, I want to see what I can do about my children's eating habits. If I can help it, possibly I may have a different story to tell than what I keep on hearing.
Till then I guess I can keep on with my hypothesis...
^WiseGuy^
This relates to a 2 1/2 year old girl I recently met. I had my small bit of contention about the way she was behaving. In one word, she is stubborn. The other thing is that she apparently has a sweet tooth. So her pediatrician asked her parents to take her off sweets, because she was overdoing on sweetmeats.
Well, so if you do not give your child items that essentially qualify as desserts, one would have to certainly give items that taste non-sugary right?
So, this one day, I looked at all that she had...the one non-sweet thing she had was an egg, but otherwise the little one had let's see, Cashew biscuits, raisins, cake and a mixture of curd and rice. The last item could have been counted non-sweet, but mom dear mixed three teaspoonful of sugar in it!
Am I being wrong if I think that her parents are not really helping the 'eating habit'? I also think that the mom should know better than to give in.
We were in the market when the girl was eating raisins from a small box, and she dropped one on the floor. Her father immediately picked up the fallen raisin and threw it away. The girl started crying like the world was about to end! To make up for the lost raisin, her mother took out the packet of cake...
Is it that hard to train a child to different flavours? And how much sweet can be served to a kiddo?
Almost everyone I ask seems to crib about how cranky kids these days are about food...how they just want what they want and won't listen to anything else.
I suppose I am about to find out soon, but I do plan to introduce Kaiser to a different flavours, mostly because I want to, and also because I saw what happens when the kid just keeps on getting what they want - rational or not.
I and my bro were not raised to make faces at food. We had everything, and had no choice in saying about wanting to eat just one type of food, or exactly wanting that one item that was not present. And that I think has really helped us...I may or may not like a particular vegetable, but if it is on my plate, I will finish it.
And I kind of understand what the girl's mother says - the little girl just won't eat anything else, and rather than see your kid hungry and constantly whiny because of it, it is better to get their stomach full , and that they have 'atleast had something'.
The other thing is potty training or the lack of it. The girl still wears diapers 24x7. She does say that she is about to poo, and I asked her mom why she was not taken to a toilet seat to relieve herself. The mother told me that the little girl just freezes! She won't poo in the loo...only in the diaper.
One of my 3 year old nephews in the US is regularly shown a potty training DVD...I was laughing because I was wondering if it would really work. So far, the DVD is just entertainment and not much learning, and here I witnessed this girl who was just like that nephew, only minus the DVD.
So what is it that irked me about me? I ws being so judgemental! I have very minimal first-hand knowledge of raising kids...I know how to sterilize bottles, and change diapers, and bathe a kid, but I have never had it as a full-time job.
I looked at the girl's parents and kind of decided on the inside about what kind of parenting the kid was getting, but still, it was wrong on my part. It is easy for me to theorise what should be, but let's see what I do when it falls on me actually.
Since its still a question of the future, I want to see what I can do about my children's eating habits. If I can help it, possibly I may have a different story to tell than what I keep on hearing.
Till then I guess I can keep on with my hypothesis...
^WiseGuy^
I am just like you, judgemental. And when the doctor says to lay off the sweets, I imagine you do not add 3 spoons of sugar when it is not needed.
ReplyDeleteTheir child, their problem, and also their lack of common sense. Which is detrimental to the child. But hey, we're to stay out. And judge.
It's so hard not to judge other parents. I think it's a least partly human nature. The important thing, in my opinion, is how we handle those moments, and if/how we express our views.
ReplyDeleteJudgemental or not, I think you are correct in saying that it is a parent's job to introduce different flavour profiles and textures to their children. Kids may not like everything they are exposed to, but they will be able to tolerate and potentially even like a larger variety of foods.
(and don't get me started on potty training)
Backseat parenting. I think we all do it but it's certainly not something I'm proud of! I think sometimes parents are afraid their toddlers won't eat if they don't get exactly what they want; but the fact is that for the most part if they get hungry enough they will eat.
ReplyDeleteI was raised like you, to eat what was on my plate, with one exception. When I was a child I refused to eat pizza, and eventually my mother gave up fighting with me about it since I ate most everything else. To this day I don't know why it was so awful to me.
It's hard not to wonder how the kid ends up with the reins in hand and the parents catering. And then we say, oh, that WILLnot be my kid. Because we know how we want things to be...we've had years to plan. It happens sweetie, but if you handle it well, then it should all be okay, and soon enough we get our turn :)
ReplyDeleteI do not give J sweets very often- he eats a lot of fresh fruit instead. of course, I also planned on rarely giving him fast food chicken nuggets, and now he gets it for a treat once a week- and I have no problem with that.
ReplyDeleteLol, a fellow blogger said it best "In my head I was the best mom. That was before I had a child"
ReplyDeleteI am such a fan of the child not running the household or the parents though. That blows my mind.
Parenting is just one big lesson in humility. And words get eaten very often.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I believe that kids come hard-wired with many of their preferences. Eating, to me, has been one of the easier things to guide. If you want kids to eat healthfully, simply make sure that you have only acceptable foods around. Also, show them how to eat mindfully ("each meal needs some protein and some carbs -- veggies are best -- and a little fat").
Now chores? Keeping TV time at acceptable levels? Avoiding whining and backtalk? I may have been judgmental at one time, but no more.
It's hard to look at other parenting styles and not think "I would never do that!" I see it as a learning lesson. I'll snap to a quick judgment and then if I find myself in that situation, I'll think about the other point of view. Sometimes I see I was right and sometimes I see I was wrong, it's all about learning and doing what YOU think is right.
ReplyDeleteI agree it is up to parents to give children the guidance to eat properly. I'm not perfect but I do know how to say "no" and much to Nae and Zilla's dismay, I do it often.
*HUGS*
really, though, i think that's partly how we become parents: through observation of others.
ReplyDeletere: food. i want ninja to have a healthy relationship with food and that's why i decided to go with baby-led weaning. so far there is almost nothing she won't try. she loves fruits and vegetables. fingers crossed that this works and that she won't be a picky eater like her father!
I have less problems with the diapers (my kids were incredibly stubborn and Gabe had a genuine fear of the potty for a long while) than the sweets issue. Kids are born with a bit of a sweet tooth (breast milk is very sweet) but, they will eat almost anything if you introduce them early enough. My kids are required to at least eat a little of everything on their plates (we call it the no thank you portion).
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a catch 22--we hate to be judged and hate to think of ourselves as judging, but how else does one learn about how to be a parent than by watching other parents? Yes, a great lesson in humility, I imagine.
ReplyDeleteRequesting a diaper to poop in when a child is otherwise potty trained is pretty common. It's something we are just getting past but he still has a lot of anxiety when it comes time to go #2 regardless of how much encouragement we give. Our ped recommended not even attempting training until age 3, if they attempted let them try but we weren't to lead.
ReplyDeleteI learned that some of my harshest judgments against parents and their abilities ended up staring me in the face. That's not to say I don't still do it. I do. It's human nature. At least that's what I tell myself.
Yo, lady, YOU ARE 19W2D TODAY!
ReplyDeleteYAY!