Have you worried that infertility treatment, or infertility itself, would cause problems down the line?
In cow bits, if you are having a raving amount of time, maybe you could stitch a quilt on that question. When BabySmiling posted that question in one of her Thoughtful Thursdays, I typed in what came out spontaneously. But the question refused to leave me. It hung, and here I am doing something akin to pulling the question verbatim into a blog post for me.
I think it is a question for which you will need to stand in my shoes. More importantly, for me, it is like the bubbling insecurities have resurfaced in visible tones.
When I began, I had no idea.
I had an idea, and it was just that sperm meets egg, likes it a lot and they wed in March. And a wee bouncing pooping baby sits in your lap in December.
I will tell you a secret. I have always craved a December baby. I would have gone ‘Awesome!’, had I been knocked up to go for a finale in my favourite month.
It seems silly, right? Now, I do not care what month it is, but yes, I wish it had been December.
This life that my father is living right now, is supposed to be his second. I almost lost him to a life-threatening, and misdiagnosed ailment that sent him in a coma. I was a little less than 2 years old.
My mother had to leave me with family and take my father to a place that could afford him a chance at life, and since they had no savings, they took out a small loan to afford the treatment.
In his second life, my father became a bit of what he never was. His BP can rocket up in seconds, he has a pot-belly and he developed cataract in both his eyes at some point of time. He had been administered cortisones in his treatment.
He still lives with the side effects, more than two decades on.
For me to swallow the Wysolone in my pre-and-during-protocol days was a bitten bug. I had a feeling that what I ate today would come out in several years from then. Of course, what I had was a few months only, but who can really tell?
^WiseGuy^
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All the time. It scares the living daylights out of me. My theory in life is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, that is how the universe seeks equilibrium. It just boils down to, what price are we prepared to pay?
ReplyDeleteThe wear and tear on my body that is going to occur, and what may happen down the line terrifies me....I think that's all of us. Wish I could banish those thoughts for all of us.
ReplyDelete{{{Hugs}}} and prayers my friend
ReplyDeletei totally think about all the shit we put into our bodies trying for baby. although i try not to think about that much. early in my ivf days my mother said she was concerned and i tried to reassure her that it was all safe. lets pray it was/is. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteHoping that our fears never come to be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Baby Smiling in Back Seat - may you never have to worry about it.
ReplyDeleteBut is all changes us in some way, right? Even without the meds, IF takes its toll.