Why do women start acting up when they are pregnant? Why do they believe that men cannot understand what they are going through, and that husbands are slaves?
DH came fuming over a colleague's tale. I won't narrate the whole details of the incident, coz that would confuse you, but the story goes like this... hubby's subordinate's wife is expecting. That couple has been at loggerheads for about four-five days.
The wifey and her hubby are playing one-up by shooting each other's suggestions down. This subord had seeked to share my domestic help for a while to relieve his pregnant wife a bit. He finalized the help, but when the hired help visited the home, the wife turned him down, just to spite her husband.
What has happened is that, the couple had been driving down a road, and the hubby missed a pit, and the woman felt a very strong jerk. She is pissed off at her DH for being so careless. And the husband is pleading innocence, saying that he never meant to do so, that he did not intend to do it.
I know that the hubby is not wrong, and I don't like the way the wife is completely turning down everything in her rage, but I kind of feel for the woman. She may not have the baby in her arms, but she already has a very strong maternal instinct in place.
She lost her first pregnancy in the first trimester (natural m/c) and she is trying to ensure that nothing happens to this baby. She was recently hospitalized to decide a dose of insulin for her (she developed gestational diabetes). I think for her the possibility of losing the baby again is very real.
Why would it hurt me so? Coz hubby sided with his colleague and I sided with the wife's point. DH tell me that it is obvious that his subord loves the baby equally, and that his wife is just overreacting.
Well, would the subord still be able to hold his face, had something happened to the baby?
I just think that men have to treat their wives more carefully, and they should understand that is not just the belly circumference that changes with advancing pregnancy. Emotions are completely a-tumblin', and men must make peace with that.
I just told my husband that he should just firm up his mind for my pregnancy as well, because I could turn completely cuckoo too. He does not believe so.
Well, I just wish that my DH's current outpour is not a sign of a general attitude or so. I think that when he really gets to experience a pregnancy up close, he would understand what partners really go through. If I were a factory girl fertile, I would possible also have laughed at how puerile the subord's wife was, but being in the IF trenches, I think I can't take the possibility lightly. I won't be able to take any pregnancy lightly - neither mine, nor anybody else's.
^WiseGuy^
DH came fuming over a colleague's tale. I won't narrate the whole details of the incident, coz that would confuse you, but the story goes like this... hubby's subordinate's wife is expecting. That couple has been at loggerheads for about four-five days.
The wifey and her hubby are playing one-up by shooting each other's suggestions down. This subord had seeked to share my domestic help for a while to relieve his pregnant wife a bit. He finalized the help, but when the hired help visited the home, the wife turned him down, just to spite her husband.
What has happened is that, the couple had been driving down a road, and the hubby missed a pit, and the woman felt a very strong jerk. She is pissed off at her DH for being so careless. And the husband is pleading innocence, saying that he never meant to do so, that he did not intend to do it.
I know that the hubby is not wrong, and I don't like the way the wife is completely turning down everything in her rage, but I kind of feel for the woman. She may not have the baby in her arms, but she already has a very strong maternal instinct in place.
She lost her first pregnancy in the first trimester (natural m/c) and she is trying to ensure that nothing happens to this baby. She was recently hospitalized to decide a dose of insulin for her (she developed gestational diabetes). I think for her the possibility of losing the baby again is very real.
Why would it hurt me so? Coz hubby sided with his colleague and I sided with the wife's point. DH tell me that it is obvious that his subord loves the baby equally, and that his wife is just overreacting.
Well, would the subord still be able to hold his face, had something happened to the baby?
I just think that men have to treat their wives more carefully, and they should understand that is not just the belly circumference that changes with advancing pregnancy. Emotions are completely a-tumblin', and men must make peace with that.
I just told my husband that he should just firm up his mind for my pregnancy as well, because I could turn completely cuckoo too. He does not believe so.
Well, I just wish that my DH's current outpour is not a sign of a general attitude or so. I think that when he really gets to experience a pregnancy up close, he would understand what partners really go through. If I were a factory girl fertile, I would possible also have laughed at how puerile the subord's wife was, but being in the IF trenches, I think I can't take the possibility lightly. I won't be able to take any pregnancy lightly - neither mine, nor anybody else's.
^WiseGuy^
Well, I have to say that I find this an incredibly positive post! Here you are talking about YOUR pregnancy and YOUR possible cuckoo-ness-in-pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other couple, it's a shame that there has to be a side to take. Both of them need a bit of understanding and kindness in worrying times. (and maybe a poke in the ribs for being childish)
YOUR pregnancy... can't wait to hear THAT news!
xxx
I blame the craziness on the hormones!
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that neither of the couple will let the other "win".
I think most men simply don't have any concept of how mood-altering female hormones can be. They think that it's something that we have either made up or use as an excuse.
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad that the couple can't recognize that their bickering isn't helping the situation, and if they both were willing to step outside themselves, they'd see that both are dealing with fear and stress.
Btw, I agree with Barbara... your voice in this post is very positive. Not if, but when! We all have to cling to that.
Ooh my! It's true...the emotional-ness of the whole thing is so pervading. I'm on the wife's side too! :)
ReplyDeleteI am a firm believer - Men ARE from Mars and women are from Venus. We just take things from two totally different perspectives.
ReplyDeleteAt one point, I got crazy paranoid/protective. Like checking, double checking and triple checking the locks on the doors at night. Weird, but not the worst thing I could have done.
I agree with Mrs. Gamgee - not if, WHEN!
I am pretty much a level headed person and I had moments of being a raving lunatic while I was pregnant (and that includes before infertility). {{{Hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteMe neither - it's all risky and serious and pregnant women are deserving of leeway.
ReplyDeleteWe shall all be as precious as we like once we get to the other side, but I think our partners will be more understanding that your DH's subordinate is though.
Ooooh, that's really a tough one. Being pregnant with twins, I feel twice the emotional rollercoaster that I did with a singleton, so I can certainly understand some of her frustration. But it doesn't mean that I am irrational 100% of the day -- or even that frequently, to be honest. (Although my experience with IF deals only with conception and not with sustaining pregnancy, I imagine that would add to the hormonal stress.)
ReplyDeleteHmmm very intersting. I can see both sides of this situation. Although, I do think she could ease up a bit on her husband. He could cut her a bit of slack, as well. A poke in the ribs, as Barbara suggested isn't such a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the girls who said YOUR pregnancy! I hold a lot of faith it WILL happen!
*HUGS*
Pregnancy hormones = crazy!!!
ReplyDeleteI like to think that when its our pregnancy our DH's will be more understanding, but who knows? It's easy to say "she's wrong" or "he's wrong" but I see bits of wrong with both and bits of right with both sides. I can certainly empathize her fear of losing the baby, but I could see how he could get frustrated. I hope everything works out for them. And that your DH is much more understanding when its you ;)
ReplyDeleteI think a man just needs to suck it up and expect the Mama Bear to rear her head at any time. I can empathize with her- even though I don't think I would string it along for days.
ReplyDeleteThat's why Men are from Mars and Women from Venus... and never the twain shall meet...
ReplyDeletexxx