My MIL's brother came visiting an hour back. His son is about to be married (one of the two major family weddings scheduled this season) and he was out and about distributing invitation cards to the wedding/reception.
He asked my mother for tea. And when she got busy, he assumed his this-is-a-great-thing-I-want-to-tell-you pose and began:
He asked my mother for tea. And when she got busy, he assumed his this-is-a-great-thing-I-want-to-tell-you pose and began:
"Chuck out everything you have been doing. Go to the Big-City. Go. They have
the best doctors."
Yes, Okay. Alright. How can I chuck out everything? Who will give me back my five years?
[A little history though: This fellow lost his first two sons post-birth, (born living but died within five days of birth) and the third one survived with great difficulty, but survived. The factor was that wife was Rh negative, or something like that and it was managed in the third try, which was in the Big-City. But that was in the 1970s!]
He loves me and he cares for me. And he did not mean any harm by saying it, but what he suggests has little merit. He is one of the few on my in-laws' side who is constantly enquiring about my thesis/publications and such.
^WiseGuy^
Good intentions (with a side of not-knowing) have morphed into hurtful words (again).
ReplyDeleteSo sorry--and I am taking your no-compulsive-posting advice to heart
It's hard to take someone's advice with a grain of salt. Even when they do mean well, it doesn't always make the hurt feelings go away.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
*HUGS*
Sometimes it is almost harder to here those things from people you know care. {{{Hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteyuck, good intentions, but still. and it's hard to know what to think, considering that it does sound as though he cares (e.g., asking about your professional life). people just never know what to say...
ReplyDeleteThe road to hell is paved. I almost hate the good intentioned comments more, because you can't get angry.
ReplyDeleteLaughing at Io's comment above. Seriously though, sorry for that, he did mean well, but doesn't lessen the feelings does it? Sorry I lost your blog when i lost my bloglist, yeah you are there again and I am here again. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's very nice that he is wanting to share their success with you... even though as you say, it's not really applicable to your situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with assvice, but I'm grateful you have such caring people in your life.
ReplyDeleteFamily comments, no matter how well intentioned, always sting the most.
ReplyDelete((HUGS))
Thats the worst, when we are forced to smile through painful words because we so love those saying them.
ReplyDeleteFirst Art of Living lesson from Punde (coz you asked) - excuse other people their mistakes. When you understand that their mistake is not intentional and it is a mistake just like one of your own unintentional mistakes, love them for it. When you are agitated or heightened and you want calm, breathe deeply in and out several times and as you exhale expel the air forcefully while saying hmmmm! Peace comes swiftly.
ReplyDelete:o)
Yes - good intentions and unsolicited advice are abundant. After five years, do they really think there is something you haven't heard of or haven't tried?
ReplyDelete