I am not a Legend

Today morning's POAS said it. I did not completely believe it.

My mind repeated it, but I drew it back and said that it was not sure. Not now.

I was a wounded horse already. But I thought I could drag myself, and if I dashed hard enough, maybe the finish line was closer than visible.

I thought of playing a cruel joke on my mother (and some intuition tells me that she would call today, and I will still pull the joke).

I called at 1630 Hrs. He said that the report would come after 1700 Hrs.

I kept the receiver, and decided to go home.

I came home. I was not hungry. I was anxious. I still made celebratory/depression-companion instant noodles and left them to cool down a bit.

Finally did pick up the reciever and made the call. He shuffled sheets. He said that the report had come. He pronounced my name wrong. I corrected him.

And then he spoke to somebody in the background. I heard the news from the guy at the back - a little voice that said <1. He heard that and I knew he was still holding the earpiece, and I said, "It is negative". The man said, "Umm...yes."

I am thankful to this fellow. He is the first to have unknowingly conveyed his discomfiture in giving a negative pregnancy test report. He was not matter-of-fact, he did not prolong the whole drama of the ritual, but he was unsure of how to best say it.

I had a silent cloud stuck to my throat, the one that had a hazy whisper - Thank You. I kept the receiver. I am not going to the Lab to pick up the report.

Nothing makes any difference, neither the fact that a new hand was used to draw the blood; nor the fact that I was worried that a 'new-at-it' guy was attempting to fill his syringe with my blood; nor that I saw a mosquito hovering too close to his nose, and his irritation at it, right before he sent the needle into my skin. No.

It does not matter.

I am set here to break my own records.



^WiseGuy^