Harassing Google Analytics, I found very staid, boring, off-coloured keywords that people have used to come to my blog. Names of medicines, Lupride or IUI were the common terms that people shredded to reach my blog.
But some of the keywords had me sucking my jaw off the gravity force that tugged my face. I am very glad that it took more than a combination of simple stupidity to find out my blog.
Here are the funny keywords, and my corresponding blog posts that might have attracted them.
But some of the keywords had me sucking my jaw off the gravity force that tugged my face. I am very glad that it took more than a combination of simple stupidity to find out my blog.
Here are the funny keywords, and my corresponding blog posts that might have attracted them.
can a woman conceive when suffering from coax
Honey, get pregnant.
No, I won’t.
Honey, get me a f##king baby.
No, I won’t.
Honey, give me a chance to perpetuate my grey cells.
No, I won’t.
I gave you a Diamond Ring. I gave you an Emerald Ring. I gave you a Ruby Ring. And now, you are giving me Suffering.
Darn.
I have been coaxing you to give me a child, lady.
I can’t get pregnant when I am suffering from your coaxing.
emily 18 one lip slip
Hello, This is the Really Discrete Hot Stud and Studette Escort Service. How can I hoe you?
Shhh…I am Biscuit Jack. Yeah, I want one for tonight.
Hmm…would you like Luscious Luciattedettawettahetta.
No, I want that magical babe – Emily 18 One Lip Slip.
how to impregnate retroverted uterus
Honey, Roll over.
Shut up. I want to sleep.
Oh, come on. Roll over. Easy now….knees on the floor, butt in the air…hold it. Okay, now raise your left hand in the air, and make sure your right hand touches elbow to wrist on the bed.
Honey, promise me, you won’t have me doing this for five hours straight again.
Nopes. Only three hours today, babe.
Hmmmm….maybe next cycle, we should try sex.
iui hcg injections, dripping out of needle
Scoop it up, Spread it out!
Oh come on, you don’t have to use an ‘s’ here.
Coop it up, Pread it out!
Sheesh, what’s with the ‘c’ and ‘p’?
Oop it up, Read it out!
Better still; make sure that the hot love juice is not wasted like that. Use a syringe, not a ketchup dispenser, bozo!
Nooooo…. It really was not my blog posts. But people found me like that. Duh!
I am glad that they did. Maybe one of them got cured.
^WiseGuy^
Hee hee!
ReplyDeleteGoogle Analytics: One of the best inventions ever!!! Never ending supply of humor at the stupidity and curiosity of others!!!!
ReplyDeleteI await the day mine are more interesting!! :D
Have a great day and thanks for visiting!! :D
*iclw*
LOL!!! Too funny! Love the hcg injections dripping out of the needle!!! Well... don't press the synringe plunger damn it! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my word....ROTFLMBO!!!!!! I, too, crack up at the things people look up and end up sitting in my bloghouse. I'm sure they're so bummed. I wrote something called 'An Essay on Cleanliness' many months ago...and I get hits for that all the time. I'm thinkng it's mostly errant teens forced to write a paper for their parents after roaches were found under their bed and body lice crawled from their ears.
ReplyDeleteSorry, that was gross...crazy mood I'm in!
Eve (infertilityrocks.wordpress.com)
oh my god, that was an absolute treat to read! thanks for your comment on my blog and enjoy the rest of the ICLW week! Love, Fran
ReplyDeleteCured of The Stupid?! Is that even possible? Too funny!
ReplyDelete*HUGS*
P.S. Day two of bat sh!t crazy pills and so far...no bat sh!t craziness ;o)
You're hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! Too funny! I love my google analytics, I am awaiting a few other funny ones and I'll do my own version. :)
ReplyDeleteOMH that was great! I will definately be following along on your journey!
ReplyDeleteSabrina
ICLW
Hahahaha :)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I need to install this so I can see what insane things people have found me with lately!
ReplyDeleteHysterical! How do you find out what words people use to find you? That's so funny I need to do it too!
ReplyDeleteLOL. I think I will also install it just for laughs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting me! Looks like we might be cycling at the same time - that is cool.
ICLW.
That is ha-larious!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my page - I only WISH I was in the hospital right now having this baby!! I don't feel ready but I'm ready.
Anywho, that is so funny, I gotta look into that google thing!!
Ericka
iclw
Love it!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! That was so funny! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteThanks for visting my blog. :)
Tammy
ICLW
Returning your ICLW comment - thanks for stopping by my blog! :)
ReplyDeleteYou always crack me up...this post was too funny!!
LOL!!! HCG dripping out of the needle killed me!
ReplyDeleteGoogle analytics are awesome, but I always feel naked and scared after I read what people are typing in when they find me.
ReplyDeleteThese were some good searches to get to your site. I've only had a couple fun ones on my google analytics - my favorite was ovulation makes me crabby - especially since I don't ovulate. Get crabby, yes.
ReplyDeleteICLW
Oh the things people google when they think noone is watching...
ReplyDeleteICLW
Gotta love Google Analytics!! I wish I could point fingers - I've googled some pretty stupid shit myself. Well, maybe not that stupid . . .
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I love all the weird things people search for.
ReplyDeleteand I too, sometimes worry about the liquid dripping out of the needle after I stick it in...hehe :)
Loved this and now you've inspired me to hook my blog up to GA. And as Jamie D said, most of us have searched for some pretty wild terms. My most recent ones involved egg whites for fertility and 12-cell embryos.
ReplyDeleteICWL
lol... I loves me some google analytics! too funny!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahaha!
ReplyDelete