Yeah! Thanks for the comments, ladies!
And I am still hoping for more input on the previous post!
There are a few things that rose from the comments left on the previous post.
For one, I did not have to sing sad songs for people to guess our fertility plight. In the environs where I exist, it is quite acceptable to be having a baby in the arms before the first wedding anniversary arrives. (One of my school friends had a baby two months prior to her first wedding anniversary, and we used to joke that she conceived on her nuptial bed). The second norm is to wait for a year or two and then have kids.
We are way past the norm. People know we have been going to doctors. My mother is an OB/GYN.
It is obvious. If we are not showing sociopathic tendencies and there is no blooming in the garden, everybody has just guessed the condition. I am also blessed with nosy relatives/close family.
And people ask on the face. That sets everything on the table.
But it still pinches me when people ask.
When are you having kids?
And I am still hoping for more input on the previous post!
There are a few things that rose from the comments left on the previous post.
For one, I did not have to sing sad songs for people to guess our fertility plight. In the environs where I exist, it is quite acceptable to be having a baby in the arms before the first wedding anniversary arrives. (One of my school friends had a baby two months prior to her first wedding anniversary, and we used to joke that she conceived on her nuptial bed). The second norm is to wait for a year or two and then have kids.
We are way past the norm. People know we have been going to doctors. My mother is an OB/GYN.
It is obvious. If we are not showing sociopathic tendencies and there is no blooming in the garden, everybody has just guessed the condition. I am also blessed with nosy relatives/close family.
And people ask on the face. That sets everything on the table.
But it still pinches me when people ask.
When are you having kids?
Why are you not having kids?
Stop focusing on career....don't you think it is time to think about family as well?
And then my FIL dropped the mini A-Bomb on Sunday (a scene of family togetherness), and asked my DH (did not ask me even though I was sitting there, as was MIL, BIL, SIL and niece). He asked:
And then my FIL dropped the mini A-Bomb on Sunday (a scene of family togetherness), and asked my DH (did not ask me even though I was sitting there, as was MIL, BIL, SIL and niece). He asked:
"Is there any progress?"
Progress!!!! As in?
BTW, on a very very happy note, have you been to Dora's lately? She has some twittery news to share!
^WiseGuy^
Oh my favorite comment is:
ReplyDeleteYou know you guys are not getting any younger! What's the hold up?
The world's standard script is getting a bit old, yes? Let's write them a new one!!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes - Dora's news is just wonderful. She totally deserves it.
Oh yes, I understand this. In my culture, every couple has a baby around the three-year anniversary mark, and then another baby every 2-3 years or so. That's just the way it is. I've been married for almost 9 years, so I should be ready to pop out my third in a few months. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that people are bugging you about it - it's the proverbial salt in the wound problem.
I don't think it's ANYONE'S business. My MIL use to question us and hint to us about having a baby. It got really frustrating. I'd like to think her questions and hints come from a loving place, but it really is NONE of her business. I'm not a very private person, but there are just somethings, I'd rather not discuss or if I do, lets not questions my reasons. YAY for Dora, it is exciting!
ReplyDeleteI hate comments like that... my whole family knows, so all I ever get anymore is, "Any progress?" or the ever subtle,"How are things?" Oh, and the new one... "You know, there's nothing wrong with adoption."
ReplyDeleteWhere you are, the culture, it plays such a huge role in whether or not people bombard you with questions.
I have been married for 3 years, but I am young, 24, so I don't usually get many, "When are you two having kids?" They assume that since we're young, we're not trying... So, while I'm lucky in that aspect, I get instead, "Why try? You're young. Wait a few years." Bah.
Hang in there hun. I wish all the asinine comments would just stop already. They're like adding insult to injury.
(*hugs*)
Thanks for the mention, sweetie. People can be such idiots. Being single got me out of most questions about kids, but I still get plenty of stupid questions and comments.
ReplyDeleteUgh, people. They're the worst.
ReplyDelete:)
Why do our family think that they have the right to ask us anything anywhere? Seriously. I am glad that at least your FIL asked your DH and not you. I would have been pissed if my in-laws asked me something like that when DH was there.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are surrounded by all this nosy people and your FIL's comment?!!! No words to that.
ReplyDeleteI'm really blessed to have such a demeanor that normally does not invite these types of personal questions. My family doesn't ask. My parents never asked. I was the one to tell them. and then, my mom prays for us now. One of my grandma's asked once, in the beginning of our marriage, when we weren't ttc yet. But never again. This last trip back home, I got grandma and grandpa together and blatantly told them. So they know what's up. Also because I'm the oldest grandchild and one of my cousins already had a baby. Exactly at this baby's first birthday though, I had my cousin's MIL, of all people, asking me about children! I was pissed and hurt. I just answered we were infertile. I do that. I like to see the look on people's faces. If you are nosy enough to ask, then deal with the answer you don't wanna hear.