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Cried. Sitting in the cabin right now...perfectly alright till a few minutes back. Thought over the visit of my aunts to my mother's home. One of my aunts has got me beautiful gifts over from England. Not that I have seen them, but with her taste, nothing can go wrong. Which led to the thought of what bedrooms they took in the home. Which led to my mother's statement that ever since I left her in December, the house does not feel as lonely as it used to. That there is some presence. A sense of company. Her insecurity, when Papa had to go away to a different city because of a transfer was reduced once I left. I remember that it was December 6th that I left. I was bleeding.

Sounds like a blubber. Yes, that is how disjointed my thought process suddenly became.

:(

It could have been well into my second trimester now.


Could have. Is not.


^WiseGuy^
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Comments

  1. sharonvw16 April 2009 at 12:27

    Sorry! I know it hurts!
    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  2. S16 April 2009 at 16:11

    It does hurt a lot.
    I'd be 31 weeks now. But am not.

    Hurting with you babe.
    Hugs
    S X

    ReplyDelete
  3. Barbara16 April 2009 at 16:26

    You're allowed to blubber for what might have been.

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Melis.sa16 April 2009 at 18:06

    that last line kills me.

    reality is the fucking worst some days. or most. ugh.

    108!?! good lord! i used to live at the corner of the mojave desert in CA and it'd only get that hot in summer. wasn't pleasant.

    ReplyDelete
  5. one-hit_wonder16 April 2009 at 20:13

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Photogrl17 April 2009 at 01:56

    ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dora17 April 2009 at 04:10

    Those who haven't been there just don't get how much "could have" hurts. We know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. S17 April 2009 at 11:49

    Hey babe, to answer the question you asked me about exercise in my 2ww. I hammer it in the gym, absolutely go for it. My Dr says that it's fine because I'm fit and do hardcore exercise all the time.
    To be honest, when I found out I was pregnant I eased off totally on the exercise and miscarried anyway. My exercise is my stress relief and until I'm put on bed rest, I ain't giving it up!!
    Hugs
    S X

    ReplyDelete
  9. cysteract17 April 2009 at 13:20

    *hugs* could have hurts like hell I'm sorry xX

    ReplyDelete
  10. Martin17 April 2009 at 23:43

    I can't even imagine. Mind yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cara18 April 2009 at 03:37

    Oh Wiseguy - the could have beens are just brutal.

    Cry - alot - missing your baby with you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Steadfast Warrior18 April 2009 at 06:21

    I want to cry with you. I wish I could make it better. HUGS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Beautiful Mess18 April 2009 at 10:53

    I'm so sorry for your hurt. I hate the "could've beens" and "what ifs" games. They make me sad. Be kind of yourself. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
    *HUGS*

    ReplyDelete
  14. S18 April 2009 at 19:13

    I'm sorry mate. December is a bad month for me too. Janaki's due date. I wish things were different, eh. But its ok to cry. We're entitled to, damnit!

    xx

    ReplyDelete

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