Was browsing through the newspaper today morning and they had an article on the babies born after 12 o'clock on New Year's eve. Wow! I can't really describe to you how there was photo after photo of chuggly-wuggly pink cheeked cuties! (Nine in all)
The newspaper reported that the city had registered 205 births on the first two days of 2009! Some statistics that is not anything to me at all.
Anyways...I was only observing the faces and what has registered to me now, is that I did not feel upset or angry or lacking. I only saw the pics, relished the radiance flowing from them and that is all. Buddhaesque?
I think I must become more disciplined with my Vipassana sittings, which I have lost the inner urge for.
My past experiences have taught me to expect breakthroughs only after reaching the ultimate limits of frustration. When I went for IVF last year, I believed that I had reached that limit and so, some positive outcomes would come my way as had happened in the past. But now I know that there is a stage beyond frustration - and that is not necessarily composed of cold rage. It is also made of numbness or even the deep knowledge that nothing worse can now perhaps ever occur.
^WiseGuy^
The newspaper reported that the city had registered 205 births on the first two days of 2009! Some statistics that is not anything to me at all.
Anyways...I was only observing the faces and what has registered to me now, is that I did not feel upset or angry or lacking. I only saw the pics, relished the radiance flowing from them and that is all. Buddhaesque?
I think I must become more disciplined with my Vipassana sittings, which I have lost the inner urge for.
My past experiences have taught me to expect breakthroughs only after reaching the ultimate limits of frustration. When I went for IVF last year, I believed that I had reached that limit and so, some positive outcomes would come my way as had happened in the past. But now I know that there is a stage beyond frustration - and that is not necessarily composed of cold rage. It is also made of numbness or even the deep knowledge that nothing worse can now perhaps ever occur.
^WiseGuy^
There is something wonderful about finding that place beyond limits and breaking points. It can only hold good things and discovery. You're right, it does hold fragments of what has been, but it doesn't feel the same as it once did.
ReplyDeleteI can look at and hold babies these days and feel only their pure spirits embracing mine. I know our day will come. May 2009 bring you much joy and happiness.
What a great place to be in as you start the new year. They do kinda flaunt those babes though, don't they?
ReplyDeleteMust be all that New Years Eve sex causing women to go into labor. But yeesh, it's not like we need to know about EVERYONE? I hope 2009 brings all of your wishes to fruition!
ReplyDeleteAhhh. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, love the lotus. I actually took the picture of mine at my favorite public garden. So peaceful, there's such profound the beauty in the simple things. I saw your icon today, made me smile :)
maybe the space beyond is called emptyness. The complete void of energy or plans in face of absolute adversity. I'm visiting it myself right now. May we find better spots to dwell in 2009.
ReplyDeleteYes, I read an article too about hw these women ushered in the New Year's with their babies.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))))