...On the night of 19th when my breasts became hard and sore to touch, the nurses brought me hot water bottles rather than my baby. I should have known. ...Birdman was apparently away to Very Big City with our baby. Every SMS update sent to me about her after 16th Jan was fake. I was a donkey eating at his trough. I should have known. ...Visitors who came to see me in the hospital did not look me straight in the eye. I should have known. ...My mother sounded reluctant every time I asked her on a timeline on when my stitches would be cut and I could travel to Very Big City. I should have known. ...I grieved at how many pricks and tubes were affixed to my little baby while she lay cold and unfeeling at the bottom of an earth pit fatigued from all the effort she put into staying alive. I should have known. ...Family dropped clues on how oxygen deprivation could affect the brain. I spelt it out for them. I told them that Lola was my daughter even if she came out r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d from the o...
How disappointing after giving you that bit of hope.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
There was no hope....I did not feel anything but her impending arrival.
ReplyDeleteSorry there was no hope this month. Hoping for some hope another month.
ReplyDeleteI think my body is gearing up for another monster period from hell. Oh hell.
xxx
Damn.
ReplyDeleteCare to join me under my big rock? I'm serving wine, but hey if you have an order I'm sure I can whip something up. Early or late, af can really bite.
ReplyDeleteI hate late AF's ... sorry.
ReplyDelete