Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a high tower. She did not have very long hair, nor her song was as sweet. She did not even meet dwarfs and bears in her whole life and her mirror could not talk. Her horse was just a horse. Anyways, her father got her married off to somebody in the next high tower and this princess thought that like all others - her maids, friends and neighbours, there would be blossoming in her garden as well. So year after year, when there were invitations from neighbouring kingdoms for baby showers and birthdays, the princess really did not realize anything was wrong. Are you actually reading this? I really don't want to continue the story like this.
I am so pregnancy-unexperienced. Want to know why? I was talking to my mother yesterday and I came to know that the cramping and bleeding I had on Decemeber 2nd was when I aborted! What? I aborted? Seriously, is that abortion? Am I crazy? You mean there was no implantation failure? What? Am I turning loony? On Sunday, I expelled a pinkish-white mass. So, is it possible that the expulsion can continue over a period of time. I am still bleeding. What? I really do not know. Means, I was pregnant, maybe just for 10 days? Yeah? So I was?
^WiseGuy^
I am so pregnancy-unexperienced. Want to know why? I was talking to my mother yesterday and I came to know that the cramping and bleeding I had on Decemeber 2nd was when I aborted! What? I aborted? Seriously, is that abortion? Am I crazy? You mean there was no implantation failure? What? Am I turning loony? On Sunday, I expelled a pinkish-white mass. So, is it possible that the expulsion can continue over a period of time. I am still bleeding. What? I really do not know. Means, I was pregnant, maybe just for 10 days? Yeah? So I was?
^WiseGuy^
you might have been, but it's hard to know for sure. i had a miscarriage and the bleeding lasted for about the same amount of time as a period.
ReplyDeletei am mostly kidding about the vicodin, but i did have to take a lot after surgery, and i do have a regular prescription for that time of the month, but that's it.
Maybe you were pregnant for 10 days.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you lost that baby.
xxx
I just caught up with your blog. I am so sorry. What a hellish time. I feel like I want to dispense some soothing words to help you through, but I know that this is impossible. I'm sure you feel like you are walking in a fog where time and space don't really have the same meaning that they did before. I'm thinking of you and hoping that the days get easier as they go by.
ReplyDeleteI've heard and read too that it's very common for women to miscarry and it be taken for a regular, but stronger period with cramps.
ReplyDeleteSending you loving light to help soothe your soul.
(hug)
Oh man... that is a scary thought. Hope it doesn't last that long. Get well soon!
ReplyDeleteI just got you in my reader, so I have to go read your backstory.
ReplyDeleteDid you get +hpts in that time period? (i'll go and read)
I never knew why 'they' call some miscarriages spontaneous abortions. To me, I always thought of abortion as something you forced upon yourself. And a miscarriage was a lost pregnancy. Semantics suck sometimes.
Okay, you did IVF but did not have implantation, so you were not "pregnant" by definition. At least there was no evidence of it (no positive pee sticks or betas).
ReplyDeleteThe embryos that were transferred makes it seem so different. I had the same feeling of my 3 embryos that did not make it. But in breaking it down scientifically, the embryos that are transferred are no further along than an egg that gets fertilized "naturally" when released from the ovaries.
It takes an egg 7-10 days to get down the fallopian tube and implant into plush lining. An egg lives for about 12-24 hours (sometimes longer, sometimes shorter). So if fertilization comes, it happens in the first day of the egg being freed from it's follicle. So, by the time it enters your uterus, it's the "same" as a tranferred embryo from IVF.
At this point - a "naturally" fertilized embryo or an embryo from IVF are pretty much given the same chances, as it's all about nature now. They either implant or they don't. Except with IVF, we ~know~ how many embryos we have. With a natural cycle, we don't know if fertilization even happened. We simply get a BFN and get AF. So when it's a natural cycle and we get AF without a BFP, do we say we miscarried? No, we just say it was a BFN cycle.
Now, with IVF, we may have more bleeding/tissue due to the amounts of hormones we threw into our bodies. And sometimes our regular periods are sometimes crazily heavy. But that could simply be from a different level of hormones that month. A heavier lining. We dont' consider it a "loss" (whether called m/c or a spontaneous abortion) unless there is evidence of implantation, which means HCG present (via beta or hpt).
TRUE - sometimes we may simply have not caught the levels in time. If implantation only happened for a day and we didn't get a beta that day, maybe the hcg would be gone by the time we did test. So I am by NO MEANS saying it wasn't a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage) simply because there was no proof.
My point here is we have no idea how many cycles we have implantation failure. We know for sure when it's IVF, but what about all those other cycles? I personally have SHIT lining, so I know implantation failure could be a huge aspect in my BFN cycles (I've had 37 BFN cycles all together). But since I never got a +hpt except on one of those failed cycles, I can't assume there was even an embryo to implant. Only on my IVF cycle did I know.
Gosh, this got long. So sorry for the huge comment. But wanted to explain how I see things from the scientific point of view. Personally, my failed cycles would be so much harder to consider each on a miscarriage instead of simply a failed cycle. My heart would ache too much for babies "lost" assuming I had fertilization with each cycle.